Marriage Counselors are often asked by wives to help her create the perfect husband. No such thing right? The point is to try to be the best husband YOU can be using your talents and strengths. One of the biggest roadblocks is that we men have difficulty understanding what our women want. So each person is different but here are some basic truths.
- A wife needs to feel she is number one in your life.
- She needs to know that you will keep her safe, both emotionally and physically.
- She needs financial security.
- She needs you to listen and empathize. See /its-not-about-the-nail/
For wives, make sure you dont catch a shark.
Couples Therapy pracitioners use a variety of therapy models and intervention techniques to help couples overcome conflicts in the relationship. One of the things we teach couples in conflict is to try to externalize the conflict. The conflict is the enemy, not the people. So when we identify the conflict cycle, we sometimes give it a name, like the “ugly monster”. The couple is then asked to imagine the ugly monster as something outside the marriage who is attacking them. They have to work together to defeat the ugly monster. This is very effective at times and serves to de-escalate the conflict.
This exercise also has the effect of giving the couple a sense of togetherness that has been missing for awhile. Together, they defeat the ugly monster. Together they win for a change. Try it.
For more information about the process of couples therapy, or marriage counseling, see /marriage-counseling/